Mom and Boys

Figuring it out one day at a time.

Jesus Land

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My pastor’s wife drives a Lexus.  I like my pastor.  I like my pastor’s wife.  I think both of these people are wonderful, loving, passionate ministers for Christ.

But my pastor’s wife drives a Lexus.

I discovered this disturbing fact yesterday while waiting for a Kids Life meeting to begin (yup, that means I teach 6 days a week now, i am definatly going to heaven- just kidding).  Before I even begin this story I should first explain the two worlds that I live in.   Every day I travel 15 minutes to arrive into my work world, an inner city school.  Like any inner-city area every day I see young kids that are exposed to violence, every day I see kids that are hungry, and everyday I see kids that are starving for a compliment or an encouraging word.  I also normal wonderful families doing everything they can to survive while enjoying their children and their lives.  I love this world.

When you drive only a few miles down the highway from world number one, you will find world number two.   One of the top five wealthiest counties in America.  This is my other world.  This is the world that I spend my weekends in, and this is the world in which my church is located.  This also happens to be where my pastor lives, deep, deep, into world number two.

Driving to my pastors house reminds me a lot of the Ben Folds song JesusLand I don’t know why because the music video is completely different than what I see on the way to his house, but it still makes me think- Jesus Land.  In fact, I was actually playing that song through the neighborhood on my way to this meeting (i love me some Ben Folds).  I was sitting on their  porch watching an intense game of badminton waiting for the meeting to begin when I saw the Lexus pull up in the drive.  What?  Pastor’s wives are not supposed to drive luxury cars.  I was thinking a large white van would be more appropriate (ha).  But really, I was upset about this.  So upset in fact that I instantly turned sour and wanted to go home.  My mind immediately pictured my other world and I wondered if my pastor had ever thought to consider the poverty-stricken world only a few miles north when he decided to purchase a Lexus for his daily ride.  I wanted to leave.  I thought of Satan.  Is this him?  I have finally found a church that I like, a pastor that preaches about true love instead of hatred, and I am slowly getting involved and finding a place in this church and now I want to leave.  Just like that.  All because my pastor’s wife drives a Lexus.

While I was thinking about this today and how much the whole Lexus thing irked me to the core I thought of an exert from Mere Christianity, written by C.S. Lewis.  I specifically remember it because it made such and impression.

Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.

Does this seem to you exaggerated?  If so, think it over.  I pointed out a moment ago that the more pride one had, the more one disliked pride in others.  In fact, if you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, “How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronise me, or show off?”  The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with everyone else’s pride.  It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise.  Two of a trade never agree.

I think it is now an appropriate time to mention that I drive a Volvo.  Not exactly a Lexus but still considered a luxury car.  It is not like I am rolling around in an old beater so that I can give every spare penny I own to hungry children.   I am being hypocritical.

You know it is not bad that my pastor’s wife owns a Lexus.  It is certainly not my place to judge anyone or anything.  Over the course of this week I think that I have become blatantly aware that I have a problem with pride.  First with the whole prodigal son issue and now with this.  And the thing is, even though I can see the problem within myself.  I cannot get rid of it.  I am still bothered.  I am still turned off.  And there is still a small part of me that wants to leave.

Psalm 10:4

In his pride the wicked does not seek him;
in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

Lord give me the strength to get over my pride and love all people without judgement. Help me get over my own insecurities so that I can love others better.


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