Mom and Boys

Figuring it out one day at a time.

The sin I wear.

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Over the last 24 hours I have been thinking a lot about sin.  I have this amazing talent when it comes to sin, I am incredibly brilliant at noticing other people’s sin,  specifically other Christians.

Amazing isn’t it?

With that said, it is easy to see that I have my own inner vat of sin just leaking out of me at every chance it gets.  The thoughts really kill me.  The fact that my sinful thoughts are just as bad in the eyes of God as my sinful actions is completely disturbing.  Is there no reprieve?

One thing I always pride myself on (theirs another one, pride, I’m on a role), is that I know my own sin.  I fear that if you lain me down on a table and cut me open down the chest, you could visually see my black, bruised, sinful heart crawling with maggots and oozing with complacency.  I can feel this inside me, I know that it is there.

I am aware.

But I have come to think that being aware is not enough.  Being comfortable in the sin that I possess is dangerous. It is not enough to say “I am a prideful person, I am judgemental, and I gossip.  But that is just the way I am “.  I should be struggling with this.  Sitting around admitting that this sin exists in my life and then depending on God’s grace and love IS NOT ENOUGH.

It is not enough for me to know.

I know.

I need to be struggling.  Everyday struggling.

If I am not struggling, I am not growing.

“Each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed”  -James 1:14

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