Mom and Boys

Figuring it out one day at a time.

Seeking Solace at “Home”

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Considering the mess I have made of my life, I have run away, briefly.

After spending a week crying on the phone to my mother she had had enough and told me to leave and seek some peace in Washington.  I had been hesitant to make this voyage at the beginning of the summer for several reasons, the largest being that I knew my mom would want to keep me.  I understand her motives and I understand her logic, but I cannot stay.

I have a life in Kansas City.

My baby has a father in Kansas City.

I have a good job that I love in Kansas City.

And I have a man that drives me absolutely insane but that I can’t help but love in Kansas City.

But I have no family in Kansas City.  And that man I love may not always be around for me.  I believe he will always be around for baby Lincoln, but maybe not for me.

So is home the life I have created somewhere in middle earth, or is home where your family is?  The family that loves me unconditionally.  Or does it really even matter?

Despite my mothers wishes, I have decided to stay in Kansas City, but I will be seeking some peace and perspective in Washington state for the next three weeks.  Maybe I can figure out the mess I have created.  Maybe I will grow closer to a God that I have left somewhere in what seems to be my distant past.  And hopefully I will find myself again.  The part of me that I have lost and the part of me that I am going to need to survive the future I have created.

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