Mom and Boys

Figuring it out one day at a time.

God’s Daughter

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Luke 19:37-44

Today’s daily bread was about weeping and Jesus’ compassion and ability to empathize with people to the extant that he wept for them.

All I could think about as I was reading was the last time I wept.  If crying and weeping are synonomous with each other than I have wept very often over the last few months.  In fact during my pregnancy I was so emotional that I would often cry more than once each day.

Everything upset me, insulted me, moved me, and saddened me.

I imagine it was very hard to be around me during this time but it was also very hard to live through those emotions myself.  I was extremely worried that I would suffer from post-pardum depression.  I felt as though if there was such a thing as pregnancy depression that I was knee-deep in it.

I should have prayed- but I didn’t.

I should have searched for God through my fog of my unhappiness- but I just couldn’t find the strength.

My sin had separated me and I could no longer bear to be close to the one thing that could bring me peace.

But through all me sin, God blessed me.

I can honestly say I have never known happiness like I know it now.  Every time I look into my baby’s eyes I feel true peace.  I am suddenly able to experience love in its truest form.

He is my son and I am God’s daughter.

And suddenly I understand.

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