Mom and Boys

Figuring it out one day at a time.

This is hard.


Sometimes life sucks.

I have the two loves of my world to always be thankful for.

But when the little ones sleep,

and the quiet takes over.

Sometimes life just sucks.

I am stuck with my thoughts.

Missing someone who is not right for me.

Wanting him,

But being so angry with him at the same time.


Hurt, angry, lonely, and missing him.

Wanting him here.

We could watch Tosh.O

He could mess with my feet.

And eat crappy food.

Talk about how cute Linc is.

And love on Baby Bowen.

But I am here.

Hurt, angry, and alone.

But I know it is what is best.

It is such a confusing feeling when what is best for you in the long run, sucks so bad in the right now.

That is why we keep going back to each other.

We can’t ever fully live in the hurt.

We keep going back to the instant gratification of being together,

Even though it isn’t what is best.

The relationship part of my life is just so bruised and broken.

I don’t feel I will ever truly recover.

I have screwed it up too bad.

Made too many mistakes.

Fallen in love with someone who will never be right.

Lost myself somewhere along the way.

I need to heal.

But sometimes healing is more painful than the actual injury.

I need to pray.


Take the anger first Lord.  It is nothing but sour.

Take the hurt next.  My heart cannot take much more.

And fill the loneliness with nothing but you God.  For everything else is a facade.

If you are truly the Prince of Peace, reign over me now.

Sit with me when I am lonely.

Cherish with me, these moments I find so dear.

Draw close to me Lord, for I need a friend.


Similar Posts: Getting Used to Being Lonely Our Last Ride Friday Night Alone Again


3 thoughts on “This is hard.

  1. your words resonate with me. the quiet can be so awful, so terrifying.
    your prayer is beautiful. you are strong and you will make it through!

  2. Keep holding on. You’ll get through this in time. You may have chosen someone wrong for you to be with, but two absolutely gorgeous boys came out of that relationship, so maybe you two were meant to be together just for a short while to bring those two into the world.

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