Mom and Boys

Figuring it out one day at a time.

Top 5 Lunch Peeves


I don’t know if it is just the lack of sleep or what is going on, but people are driving me crazy.  Even more than usual.  I am sure I do many things to irritate people but here is my list of lunch time pet peeves.

  1.  See-Food Eater: The person who just doesn’t understand that you should swallow your food before talking.  Nothing is so important that it can’t wait until you chew.  If you talk with food in your mouth not only am I grossed out by what I see, but the sound of food stuck in the back of your throat while you speak is enough to make me bang my head against a wall.  I am no longer paying any attention to what you are saying.  Instead, all I am thinking is “please stop talking, please stop talking” on repeat until you are finished or finally feel the urge to swallow.
  2. I’m sooooo full girl: No you’re not.  You ate 3 wheat thins and a diet coke.  Screw you, you are not full and saying you are only pisses me off  because me and the rest of the table just scarfed down four times as much as you and if there was more food in front of me I would still be going.  Everyone at the table knows you are not full and instead you sit here and arrogantly say that garbage to make the rest of us feel fatter than we already do.  Believe me, I do enough damage to my self-esteem without you helping tear it down while trying to build up yours.  Please, eat a darn cookie and shut your face.
  3. I can’t stop talking/complaining about work girl: No one cares.  We all work all day long, everyday is different but pretty much the same and I want to enter the lounge and relax, not talk about the intricate details your job.  Not to mention the fact that you never have anything positive to say.  If you don’t like your job or think it is soooo difficult, do something else.  But I like my job, I enjoy being here.  And yes, sometimes it is tough but I still like it.  If you want to be a negative nancy, fine, but don’t bring the rest of us down by having to listen to you.
  4. Microwave Hog: We have 30 minutes for lunch, and that is being technical.  Really if you take away the time we spend doing something else we have to do like going to the restroom or checking our email before we have students again, we actually end up having 20 minutes.  So, if you decide to heat up a meal that takes eight minutes and three other people need to heat things up….um, do the math.  Be kind, if you bring a microwave meal, fine.  But put yourself last in line if it takes more than five minutes.
  5. Anti-social and Way Busier Than You Girl: This person races in, and races out of the lounge like the pope himself is waiting for her in her classroom.  You’re not that special, and there is no possible way that you are that much busier than the rest of us every single day.  Sit down and eat with your coworkers.  We probably like you and want to say “hi” every now and then, and if we don’t like you, at the very least you will give us something to talk about later. Just joking. Promise.


***Just a little disclaimer. I really enjoy and like the people I work with. This is all in jest. Sometimes even people you like can get on your nerves every now and then.


2 thoughts on “Top 5 Lunch Peeves

  1. #2 is my personal favourite. I want to tie her down and force feed her lard.

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