The OVER talker: This is the person who always feels the need to talk-over and interrupt everyone. Seriously, whatever you have to say can wait until the person speaking finishes their thought. You are rude. Sometimes I feel the need to recommend a talking token at the lunch table. “OK people, you have the stuffed elephant (or some other arbitrary object) so it is your turn to talk, if you don’t have the elephant than it is not your turn.” Patronizing? I think so. Effective? We will see.
The Bad Story Teller: If I can sum up your story in 30 seconds but it took you upwards of 20 minutes to tell that story, you are this person. These people tell the longest most boring stories and if that is not bad enough, they often tell them more than once. Oh…you bought a bag of apples and when you went to go eat an apple the apples were bad. Cool, no one cares. And you somehow managed to spend two-thirds of my lunch telling me this little gem of information. And, as if that isn’t bad enough, I had to hear this little ditty three days in a row. I will never get those 60 minutes of my life back. I now hate all apples.
Me- “I went to Chicago this weekend.”
One Upper- “Chicago, oh, I’ve been to Chicago like three times.”
Well congratulations, do they hand out medals for that? I used to live in the Chicago for eight years of my life but failed to mention that in the conversation because it is completely irrelevant and I am pretty sure no one cares. But you visiting Chicago three times, I suddenly find you to be very cool. Much cooler than me. Do you think you could honor me with your friendship so I can at least be cool by association?
The Tentative Calendar Invite: Okay, this isn’t really a lunch peeve but it needs to be mentioned. If you get sent an Outlook calendar invite and respond with a “Tentative”, you are a B. Because this is a CALENDAR INVITE. Your calendar is right in front of you, you know whether or not you have plans. When you reply with a “tentative” all that means is that you are waiting to see if something better comes up. Rude. Say no or say yes. But don’t wait around for your boyfriend to let you know if he is willing to spend the evening with you before you commit to a girls night. That is sad. Your girlfriends don’t appreciate it, and guys find it pathetic. Don’t put your girls on the back burner for a guy who obviously doesn’t care. Seriously, this does nothing for you.