Mom and Boys

Figuring it out one day at a time.

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“Mommy, I sad.”


This was what I heard from the backseat of our car while pulling away from my brothers house on New Year’s Eve.

“Grant, fun.”

“(Pa)tricia, fun.”

And then, because he is two,

“TV, fun.”

But while I was in awe that my little bruiser could identify his emotions so well and that he was perceptive enough to realize that when we pulled away from that house it would probably be a very long time before we saw Grant and Patricia again.

I also realized that in order to be sad, it also meant things had to be pretty good.

And it was.


All the fam was together for a good three days.

And it was an awesome reminder of how blessed we are to have such an amazing family.

People that love us despite our many flaws, encourage us in our endeavors, and help us when we need it most.


So while my little one was expressing his current onset of sadness.


For several minutes.

Without reprieve.

Over and over and over again.

I drove into the New Year thankful.


And then I shoved a TV screen in front of him to safe guard my sanity.


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Relating to Mary

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. – Luke 2:19

This may be a stretch, and I know our stories are in no way comparable, but I couldn’t help but relate to Mary this Christmas season.

I think it is the judgement more than anything.  I am at peace with my decisions.  I  love being a mother regardless of the circumstances.  But I know others have opinions.

Sometimes this weighs heavier on me than others.

And sometimes I feel alone.  Treasuring all the moments with my son and pondering them in my heart.

But it should be our hearts.

I had a wonderful first Christmas with Lincoln.

But maybe all holidays with him will be bittersweet.

Always wanting more for him.

Not in possessions- but in life.