Mom and Boys

Figuring it out one day at a time.


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Busy busy grandparents.

Well my mom and dad went back to Washington today.

But not without leaving their mark.

While in KC they managed to accomplish more home improvement projects in a week than I could have even imagined.

Here are a few, I am sure that I am missing some.

Cleaning out all the air vents.

Replacing all of the old air vents.

Deep cleaning my hard wood floors.

Placing a lock on my door out to the garage.

Putting up a mirror.

Putting up another wall decor thing that I like (my mom hates it, but she still put it up).

Patching a huge hole in the wall that has been there since I moved in.

Building a space dome for the kids.

Putting together a tricycle for Lincoln.

Putting up a swing in the backyard for the boys.

Organizing my linen closet.

Organizing our craft cabinet.

Organizing the laundry cabinet.

Teaching me how to quilt.

Putting up a toothbrush holder in the bathroom.

And some other things.

I’m sure of it.

They did a lot.

My fingers are tired from typing it all.

Basically they are awesome.

My house looks awesome.

And I am sitting in the awesomeness and let me tell you,

It is awesome.

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I think he plays dead.

scared infant

That is what I was thinking on my way home from work today.

It was my first day back and my mom has flown in from Washington state to watch baby Bo for these first few weeks.

I told her it would be easy, the kid just sleeps all day until Linc goes to bed.

You will be fine.

Um…apparently I lied.

Bo was awake the entire day.

How could this be?

I wish it had something to do with the fact that he misses his mother so much he was just too distraught to catch some Zzz’s,

but I don’t think so.

I think he plays dead.

If his brother is awake and around, Bowen is “sleeping.”

When big brother goes to bed, all the sudden BoBo is wide awake.

I used to think that he was just bound and determined not to ever let me have a moment to myself,

but I think I have figured out the actual reason.

He is protecting himself.

Linc has had a very difficult time sharing moms attention.

He hits poor Bowen any chance he gets.

He has kicked him in the stomach when he was lying on the floor.

He has stomped on his head.

He has even started forcing food into his mouth, “sharing.”

Try as I may to protect my little cub, I can’t always catch every strike before it lands.

So he sleeps.

Playing dead is his only form defense.

I don’t blame him.

Lincoln is a beast.


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Seeking Solace at “Home”

Considering the mess I have made of my life, I have run away, briefly.

After spending a week crying on the phone to my mother she had had enough and told me to leave and seek some peace in Washington.  I had been hesitant to make this voyage at the beginning of the summer for several reasons, the largest being that I knew my mom would want to keep me.  I understand her motives and I understand her logic, but I cannot stay.

I have a life in Kansas City.

My baby has a father in Kansas City.

I have a good job that I love in Kansas City.

And I have a man that drives me absolutely insane but that I can’t help but love in Kansas City.

But I have no family in Kansas City.  And that man I love may not always be around for me.  I believe he will always be around for baby Lincoln, but maybe not for me.

So is home the life I have created somewhere in middle earth, or is home where your family is?  The family that loves me unconditionally.  Or does it really even matter?

Despite my mothers wishes, I have decided to stay in Kansas City, but I will be seeking some peace and perspective in Washington state for the next three weeks.  Maybe I can figure out the mess I have created.  Maybe I will grow closer to a God that I have left somewhere in what seems to be my distant past.  And hopefully I will find myself again.  The part of me that I have lost and the part of me that I am going to need to survive the future I have created.