Jiggle Jam KC: The largest family festival in the country.

This was our first year going to Jiggle Jam and I was totally psyched about this event.

But once I got there I realized this would be a really fun thing to do if I had about four more hands

or

A babysitter for little Bo.

There were bubble tents, craft tents, dance tents, face painting stations, and of course, music.

This would have been a blast, and it was a lot of fun, but I can’t do crafts with a little toddler while an infant is strapped to my chest, we are lugging around a stroller, and Linc is being his usual, have no fear I will totally run away from you in a crowd, self.

And can you imagine trying to use a port-a-potty?  How would that even work?  Enter with the baby strapped to my belly and a toddler attached to my hand, and risk leaving the stroller with all of our stuff outside?  Not to mention trying to actually go to the restroom while trying to keep the toddlers hands off of everything disgusting in the port-a-potty.  And what would I do with the baby, leave him strapped to my chest?  This is the stuff nightmares are made of, I didn’t even attempt it.  I decided at the point during the day when I had to use the restroom, we would be leaving.  Seems reasonable to me.

Despite my poor planning and not finding a babysitter for the wee one so that Linc and I could truly go all out and enjoy the festivities, we did have fun.  We will definitely be doing the Jiggle Jam again.

Bubble tent was a fan favorite.

The BIG fair-sized lemonade was a huge hit.  And only half of it ended up on his shirt.  Success!

Bo lounging in the grass.

The most awful picture of Linc ever.  I will be keeping this one to show his first girlfriend.  Graduation. Wedding.  So many possibilities.

Hanging out, dancing to the tunes.

Whitening my teeth by candlelight.

I seriously could never be Amish.

We have no power and I really like Sunday night television.

I realize I just wrote an entire post on how I am motivated not to watch crap on tv and do other more life enhancing productive things but…a little background noise never hurt anyone.

Plus, doing things in the dark takes twice as long.

And, I can’t do laundry without power, dishes, cleaning, and anything else remotely productive.

I could go to bed early, that is healthy.

But the sooner I go to bed the sooner it is Monday and then I have to go to work.

Meh, I guess I will just keep playing games on my phone.

He looks cute even by candlelight.

Getting back to health.

I am going to take this summer to regain my health.

Emotional, physical, and everywhere in between.

I feel like lately I have been surviving, not living.

Just getting through everyday, and sure, there are moments that I deeply enjoy (my boys bring me this joy), but I feel like everyday is stress.

Racing around, figuring things out.

Where is the money going to come from?

When do I need to pick up the kids?

What else do I need to do at work?

The kids are sick.

Is my boss upset that I am missing so many days of work?

How will I pay for daycare next week?

The credit card is maxed out.

The bank account is in the negative.

Another kid is sick.

The house is a mess.

The laundry needs folded.

And over and over and over.

There is no peace.

And whenever I do have a moment to myself instead of doing something productive, I sit.

I watch mindless television, feeling unmotivated and lazy.

But I am done!

Life is what it is, struggles are a part of life.

And I can either take them for what they are, overcome, and live.

Or drown in them.

So I am turning over a new leaf.

I know it sounds strange but I think it starts with taking care of what I have.

Show a little pride of ownership.

In my home, in my body, and in my life.

I need to keep my house clean, keep up with the yard, watch what I put into my body, workout, read the Word, and engage in relationships that are positive and healthy.

I am excited about this summer.

I am excited to be healthy again.

What???

Isn’t this how everyone does their homework?

 

He may not be great help but at least he is good motivation.

Must pay for daycare, must pay for daycare, must pay for daycare…

My thursday rant….Free Day at the Zoo = Free Loaders: I don’t think so

Recently, our local Kansas City Zoo offered a free day of admission as a thank-you to tax payers for helping support the zoo.

Given that I have two young children and not a lot of money, this is something that I was interested in.

Unfortunately, due to other plans, we were unable to attend.

What gets me is what was said about the people who would attend such a day.

A little backup…

The free day at the zoo received some bad press.

Apparently it was incredibly crowded, some people got into a fight, teenagers were standing around and blocking paths for parents with strollers, and other people were dropping their trash.

I concede that none of this is appropriate behavior, adults fighting at a family establishment is pathetic and people throwing trash is lazy.  Teenagers standing around and not noticing other people…well, they are teenagers.  Once upon a time you didn’t realize other people existed either.

But this is what got me.

I was listening to our local talk show station on my way home from school, Dana & Parks at KMBZ.

And by the time I got home I was rather irritated.

According to Dana & Parks people who attend a free day at the zoo are obviously free loaders, “white trash”, “don’t pay taxes”, and are a general drain on society.

I think it is wonderful that Dana & Parks in all of their upper middle class glory can easily attend the zoo on a full admission day, but not everyone can, and that doesn’t make us free loaders.

I pay my taxes, thank you.

I work full-time, I go to school, and I raise two boys.

I think it is fair to say that I am not lazy.

I am respectful to others.

I pay all my bills.

And I have never received government assistance.

And for you to make a public assumption that I am some sort of degenerate, lazy, drain on society because I would attend a free day at the zoo makes me sad for you.

I would attend a free day at the zoo because I am a good mom.

I would attend a free day at the zoo because I am responsible with my money.

And lastly I would attend a free day at the zoo so that I would not have to spend a second with you upper-middle class, too good, snobby arse.

I am sorry that some people chose to act like idiots on a free day at the zoo, but that does not make all of us who would take advantage of free admission white trash, non-tax paying, freeloaders.

Sometimes it just makes us responsible.

 

My card was declined.

And then my other card was declined.

And then I left.

 

Ugh.

I knew I was getting low.

This was a weird month because we got paid a week earlier.

Also, this is my first week paying daycare for two kids.

It is my fault.

I just need to be more diligent in watching my pennies now.

I am always conscious of my bank account balance.

I just need to be a little more frugal.

Embarrassing doesn’t do the feeling of getting two cards declined justice.

It’s horrifying.

Packed grocery store.

All groceries rung up.

(like I said, I knew I was low on funds so I didn’t have much, just a few essentials)

And boom.

“You’ll have to try again.”

“Must be that card, do you have a different one?”

“That one was declined too.” (pity face)

I want to crawl in a hole.

 

Oh well.

I get paid in a day and we have plenty in the house.

So it is not like this is a big deal.

Accounts will be full soon.

But the embarrassment…

So,so, so embarrassing.

I miss your face.

I wonder if I will ever get used to nights away from you.

I know these nights with your dad are important.

But I just can’t help it.

I miss your face.

Battle of the Brush…Okay, it’s not a battle (that just sounded good) but it does seem unproductive

Ugh…

Those tiny teeth.

That little tiny tooth-brush.

The Thomas the Train toothpaste.

And my sweet little boy.

It really doesn’t sound too menacing, and it’s not.

So I don’t know why it bothers me.

Probably because I feel like nothing is really being accomplished.

First I let him try.

Silly, he just puts it in his mouth takes it out, repeat.

Then I help.

Also silly, I struggle to get him to open, I try to brush his little pearly whites, but it really just seems like the toothbrush barely makes contact.

Ugh.

I am hoping that forming the habit is really the purpose of toddler tooth brushing.

They do, after all, lose these teeth eventually.

And he does look pretty cute trying.

Please, don’t helicopter my child.

This has started to happen to me more and more.

People “helping” my kids.

We will be at the playground or walking through a store and Lincoln will struggle,

He will trip over his own feet.

Struggle to get up some steps that may be too big for his little legs.

Or slide down a slide that is may be too steep.

And I will watch.

I don’t sit back and watch because I am a mean mother, I watch because I believe my son can figure it out.

My child is strong enough to get up those steps- he just needs to realize it.

My son is perfectly capable of picking himself up after a spill- and he has no problem doing it.

If he slides down a slide and lands on his butt, he can decide if it was worth it- and 9 times out of 10 he will want to do it again.

And I truly believe my son is smart enough to problem-solve his way through any situation that may be challenging for a toddler.

I believe in my kid.

So I watch him.

And if you want to practice a different form of parenting, go ahead.

BUT KEEP YOU MEDDLING HANDS OFF OF MINE.

If he falls, please, don’t help him up.

If he is about to go down a slide that you may think is too steep for him, please, don’t stop him.

And if he is figuring out how to get  onto large playground equipment, please, don’t assist.

Because I am his mother.

And I don’t think you are helping my child.

You are stifling his learning.

And you are taking away his opportunities to problem solve.

Trust me, if my kid is in harm’s way I will be the first person he sees, I will be the first one to comfort him, and I will be the first one to wipe away his tears.

But I won’t do everything for him,

And I certainly don’t want you to.

Parent your kids however you want (and I will be honest, I may roll my eyes at you from a distance)

But keep your hands off mine.

Have you experienced something similar, or am I the only one? 

I think he plays dead.

That is what I was thinking on my way home from work today.

It was my first day back and my mom has flown in from Washington state to watch baby Bo for these first few weeks.

I told her it would be easy, the kid just sleeps all day until Linc goes to bed.

You will be fine.

Um…apparently I lied.

Bo was awake the entire day.

How could this be?

I wish it had something to do with the fact that he misses his mother so much he was just too distraught to catch some Zzz’s,

but I don’t think so.

I think he plays dead.

If his brother is awake and around, Bowen is “sleeping.”

When big brother goes to bed, all the sudden BoBo is wide awake.

I used to think that he was just bound and determined not to ever let me have a moment to myself,

but I think I have figured out the actual reason.

He is protecting himself.

Linc has had a very difficult time sharing moms attention.

He hits poor Bowen any chance he gets.

He has kicked him in the stomach when he was lying on the floor.

He has stomped on his head.

He has even started forcing food into his mouth, “sharing.”

Try as I may to protect my little cub, I can’t always catch every strike before it lands.

So he sleeps.

Playing dead is his only form defense.

I don’t blame him.

Lincoln is a beast.